Pencil Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the studio?

To drop some LEAD.

Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?

For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"

Why did the pencil want to kill himself?

He had no point in life.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

What do you call a pencil with no end?..

Pointless.

Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?

In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.

"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.

"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.

After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.