Pencil Jokes

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

Why did the pen stop writing?

'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Guess who I saw at school today?

Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

What is the leader of the school supplies?

The ruler!

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.