Pencil jokes
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
You remind me of a pencil.
Why?
Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Your looking sharp!
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
What do you call a pencil with no end?..
Pointless.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.