Pedophile jokes
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."