A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Me: "I like kids."
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
