Pedophile jokes
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.