Pedophile jokes
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Me: "I like kids."
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!