Payment jokes

What's the best part about getting a lap dance from an Asian woman?

Her eyes are so narrow that she can't see if you don't pay her.

Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?

A: Makes a Down payment.

Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?

Because you have to have money to pay for it.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!

Just give me my money (clap clap clap).

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

"Six pounds."

"And shaving?"

"Three pounds."

"Good, then shave my head."

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.