I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back? Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked. “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?” He replied, “Yes I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WebMD: Cancer.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today. Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow? Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you. Orphan: Why? Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Woman: Doctor doctor I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam, when he stuck it in I started to squirm so he held onto my shoulder. I thought it was going well.
Until he grabbed my other shoulder as well. ( If someone can write it better go ahead, I know it sucks)
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
I don't know what an hd is, but my doctor says I have 80 of em'
A make a wish patient wanted to see Black panther IRL so I pulled his plug
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“
imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "you have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the materinity ward was put on lockdown
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital Just to test their patients
DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********
