Patience jokes

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.

The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”

Can't wait to meet you!

So join the Depression family!

We open real soon!

Try best to hold onto sanity!

Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”

Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?

Sans: Measuring your patience.

Papyrus: Grunts

My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."

I shot her, now we wait.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”