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You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?

Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.

  • 1

    • Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

    What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

    What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

    The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

    Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

    Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”

    Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

  • 0

    • "I wasn't that drunk yesterday."

    "Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

    What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

    I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

  • 9

    • Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

    Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!

    Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.

  • 5