Why is it so hard to make a party on earth? Because you need to Planet.
There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
You know the difference between happy tailgators and angry tailgators?
Happy tailgators know how to throw a party.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted? Nothing.. wife couldn’t tell.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Me, a Chinese woman and he BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!" Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!!
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
how do you start an Ethiopian rave? stick toast to the ceiling.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party? - Because you can't drink and derive.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
