A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Whatβs wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. ππ
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because heβs dead.
You idiot.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didnβt know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal ππ¦.
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
