So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
