What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
