There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Party Jokes
There was a woman sitting with me.
I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.
I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Happy new year! 🥳
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
