Parent jokes

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?

Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??

When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

My parents love me.

How are orphans like Spider-Man?

No way home.

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.