Parent jokes
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.