Parent jokes
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.