Parent jokes

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?

A: "I'm calling your parents!"

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because the parents are in every episode.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

My parents love me.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.