Parent jokes
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
Sharpness V belt
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?
Students: Yeah, yours.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."