Parent Jokes

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Why did the orphan take a selfie?

Because he wanted a family portrait.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

To have someone to call "daddy!"

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?

Long sleeves.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.