Parent jokes
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?
Students: Yeah, yours.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."