Parent

Parent jokes

Bullet

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

Orphan

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

Orphanage

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

Baby

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

Mom

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

Kid

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Orphan

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

Orphan

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

Okay

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

Orphan

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.

Orphan

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Year

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

Face

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!