Overeating jokes

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.

Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Who do you see over there???

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

Why'd my grandpa fall over?

'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

You know I wish life was shorter?

I want it over.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

What is black and white and red all over?

... a newspaper!

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.