Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can't Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn't there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Are you the voices I've been hearing? because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.
You: Finds a time clock that can change time
Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house
You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
what did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say
beat it. we're closed
What Did Iran Say To Oman
Oh Man I Ran Out Of Ideas
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere
I got joke from my brother
what goes inside and comes out wet
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out? The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
Me: hey do you want to meet my grandma? Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*
How did the British lose the war of 1812
They were out Britshed
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
