Outing jokes

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?

A: Because they were a racquet!

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

WATCH OUT!!!

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.