Otherness jokes

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

What looks like half a cat?

The other half.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

What did one orphan say to the other?

Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

"That's nacho cheese!"

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.

I

hate

you!

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."