Otherness jokes

Gift

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.

The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"

The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."

The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"

The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."

Sister

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Pornstar

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Orphan

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

Memes

Pastor

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

Emo

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

Cheetah

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Knock knock

Me: Knock, knock.

Other person: Who’s there?

Me: Atch.

Other person: Atch who?

Me: Bless you!

Blonde

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Cheese

What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

"That's nacho cheese!"

Cookie

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

Eye

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Apology

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

Work

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!