so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
The reason that 👧 👧 are not 🚫 in 👦 👦 👦 👦 👦 🌳 🏘️ is because 👧 👧 can't keep their 👄 👄 👄 👄 shut about 👦 👦 👦 👦 👦 taking turns sucking each others 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man do I love being a sniper.
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
2 pedophilles talking to each other: do you got 2 fives for 1 ten?
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either
it’s just true
Urban areas are fill with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
i fell from the stairs the other day. it really "got me down".
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? -- One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
