Otherness jokes

What's the difference between me and the rest of America?

I love one and hate the other.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Did you laugh?

Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

I have an account at the website Memedroid.

My name is J0K35FromWJE.

Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).

I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).

Ok here's your joke now...

What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?

"Can I have a pizza that ass?"

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?

Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.

How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

Michael J. Fox came up to me the other day and introduced himself to me. He said, "Hey, what’s shaking?"

I said, "You."

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"