Otherness jokes
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"
The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."