Otherness jokes
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
Memes
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.