Otherness jokes

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

How do booties greet each other?

"What's crackin'?"

Why don't butts get along?

Because they can't stand each other's cheek!

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?

Other: What's snoo?

You: Not much, how 'bout you?

I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.

How do trees find each other? They log-ate!

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To get to the other side of the TRACK.

What do you call a bunch of people near each other?

The start of the Hollacoast.

The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"

The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."

Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."

Why don't gay Greek men have anal sex with each other in Greece?

Because anal sex between gay men is against the law in Greece.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"