Otherness jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.

He's homeless.

Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...

The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Why did the Russian cross the road?

To get to the other side.

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

Person: Guess what?

Other person: What?

Person: Chicken butt!

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?

Some smile, others beam.

Why don't butts get along?

Because they can't stand each other's cheek!

How do booties greet each other?

"What's crackin'?"

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To get to the other side of the TRACK.

How do trees find each other? They log-ate!