Otherness jokes
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
For Da Boys
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.