I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
Gwen, I know you're the Peter Griffin guy who spams and puts the N word and spams other stuff.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
Hi guys, I’m so so so bored. My point is, does anyone have time for chatting tomorrow, around 12:00 or so on? Guest list included:
1 Gwen
2 water sharky
So on and so on.
We can talk about Reddit or just other things. Thank you. 😀
Why is Uranus like paper? Because you do see the other side.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.
