Opinion

Opinion jokes

Bullet

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

Villain

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

Memes

Fried Chicken

Me listening to some random lgbtq protester say Its racist to ask somebody if they want free fried chicken

Spongebob Squarepants with a rainbow behind him and the text NOBODY GIVES A FUCK.

Virus

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

Football

What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.

Waste

Where are you right now?

Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.

Difference

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?

A. I respect prostitutes.

Prostitution

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Gun

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

Guy

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!