What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof
What did the twin towers mom say when she fed them, open wide honey here comes the air plane
what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Can't wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
