What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
What's the difference between paul walker's car and a petite white girl. There is no difference They both got split open by a huge log.
What 7 letters do you say when you open he fridge and see it’s empty
o i c u r m t
Is it incent if it’s out the open
Or is it...outcent
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
knock knock whos there Jesus Jesus who Jesus christ open the door
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes minded
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
How do you scare alot of people in New York? Open a mobile Hotspot named delta in flight wifi.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the Playground
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
Open Wide Here Comes The Airplane
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo. They never got together at all.
this name makes me want to close season instead of open it
"Knock Knock..." "Who's There?" "Kenya" "Kenya who?" "KENYA OPEN THE DO ITS FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
