One jokes

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

What did one butt say to the other?

Something brown is slithering down.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.