One

One jokes

Poster

    • A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

  • 0

    • Predator

    • A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

    They're all Predators!

  • 1

    • Guy

    • How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

  • 1

    • Bone

    • Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

  • 0

    • Vagina

    • A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.

    The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:

    "Num num num num num!"

  • 0
    • One memes

    Pilot

    • A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

    The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

    "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

    Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

    The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

    "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

    At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

    Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

    The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

  • 1

    • Robber

    • Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

    To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

    Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

    The police said "How old are you?"

    Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

  • 1

    • Bee

    • These are bee puns.🐝

    I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

    I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

    (Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

    Hand Job

    • I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

  • 4

    • Onion

    • What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

    Snake

    • There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

  • 0

    • Orphanage

    • A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

  • 1