One

One jokes

What did the green grape say to the purple one?

"Calm down and take a breath."

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

Oh... one comes back.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.