One jokes
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.