One jokes
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.