One jokes

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."