One jokes
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!