What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What do you call a fish with no eye- a one-eyed fish you smart ass
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Why did every one quit the high school volleyball team: To join COACH KYLE"S team of course.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
