Old Jokes

joe mama roast

Tell me 10 best yo-mama jokes
1. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow
raincoat, people shout "taxi!"
2. Yo mama is so old, when she was in school,
history was called current events.
3. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a
bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
4. Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to
pay attention.
5. Yo mama is so short, she poses for trophies.
6. Yo mama is so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of
her.
7. Yo mama is so stupid, she brought a spoon to
the Super Bowl.
8. Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income
family is where your spouse works two jobs.
9. Yo mama is so clumsy, she could trip over a
cordless phone.
10. Yo mama is so slow, when she ran the 100-
meter dash, she finished in the next Olympics.

Just wanna repost from my old account

The Ohio Butthole Tickling
Bandit Has Escaped Custody
And Being Hunted By Police.
By timw_brap
Posted on fenuary 2016

an old man walks in a forest with a child and the child says its dark and im scared the oldman says how do you think i feel i have to walk out alone

what is the difference between a priest and mcdonalds? nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns

So I told my sister want hear some jokes and she was like hit me with best shot fire away and I was like okay I know ur singing and old song yeah I was trying to see if u sing too and I said who do u think I am Chris brown Hi

Whats the best thing about fucking twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them.

There are 4 people on a airplane and the pilot has a heart attack and dies the plane is going down and there are also only 3 parachutes so the guy who knows how to cure cancer says I’m jumping I can save many lives the the 46 president joe Biden says I’m take ing the 2 one so there is only one left Donald trump says to the 7 year old girl I have lived a long life u an take the next one so the little girl says that’s ok the 46 president took my back pack.lol

An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was

Dear Gwen. Gwen when I said sorry I ment that as a sarcastic why and point of veiw! Tbh u make me sick as a dog! also ur so annoying stop holding that anger in BTW I AM A SPECIAL CHILD! btw I am 6 years old btw! please comment good or not! Irdc!

Your grandma is pretty old she’el die soon

This city slicker broke down on a country road, he look around and in the distance he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there he asked the farmer if he has a phone he could use because his had no reception. The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married and the farmer said if you marry my daughter I’ll give you half my farm...the guy said lemme see her...the farmer hollered “hey you” get over here...and she said duh ok. The ol boy looked at her and said nooo thank you. The father said I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....the ol boy thought for a minute and said “we’ll I guess I can put a sack over her head” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything. One day the guy was up fixin the roof and Holland hey you get me some nails...his wife said duh nails, nails he said yes nails and showed her one she said “oh dun nails nails” he said yes nails. So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb and he yells oh F. . . It! and she turned and Hollered Duh A Sack A Sack Duh A Sack!

an old indian was buried on the side of a hill, what did he say.

nothing, he was dead.

So i met this girl and she was 9 out of 10 i meat this outher girl who was 7 years old the 7 year old 8 my 9 out of 10 girl cause 7 was a psychopath.

A 60 year old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12 year old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared”. The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone”.