Old Jokes

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"

At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.

Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!

Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

Why does a chicken cross the road?

To poop and pee in the potty!

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!

"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.