Old jokes
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.