Old jokes
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Memes
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Old members come back, weβre bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."