teacher: “okay so how are you going?” student :“i’m not going” teacher” oh so your a wheelchair person”
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do, oh never mind I'm not homo like you
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT, oh wait that’s always been there.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
Oasis! (Oh hey sis!)
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.'' “I still don't get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
Did you hear about the unborn fetus, oh wait, nevermine, it must have been aborted from the sight
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
roses are red violets are blue when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo"
America get pranked lol Bidens penis is probably as big as the twin towers right now Oh wait...
oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand comedy, oh wait.....
what did the orphan say to its parents? hey mom and dad oh wait ur not my parents i dont have nun will u adopt me pls they people:no
Store owner: u have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: please.
Store owner: oh okay but get on ur tippy toes.
Kid: ever body is hugging
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind please continue
maybe we should stoptalking about orphans there parents will get ma...... oh wait
It’s a bird It’s a plane Oh shit it is a plane
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
guys we need to stop telling orphan jokes, there gonna tell their parents. oh wait nevermind continue
