OH jokes
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Oh hi guys. Oh, whoops, I didn't planet this way.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!