Offspring jokes
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
Mama milky?
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.