If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Offspring Jokes
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."