Offspring jokes
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."