What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
