Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
