Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Offspring Jokes
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Mama milky?
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
