Ocean jokes
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.