Ocean jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

"The canons be ready, Captain!"

"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

Maybe the ocean is salty because the land never waves back.

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?

Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

How do fish get to school?

By the octobus.

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.

Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

A: I'd hit that.

I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.

We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.

Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!