Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Maybe the Ocean is salty because the land never waves back
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
How many times do yo tickle a squid before it laughs???
TEN-TICKLES
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
