Occupation jokes
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?
Snoop Soddy Sod.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?
Because they always drop the beet!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Seasoning.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.