Occupation jokes
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
We gotta work ahead, people!
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?
Because they always drop the beet!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.