Occupation jokes
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil? One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.
Your dad must be a mailman.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.