Occupation jokes
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Cause they taste funny.
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
"Wanna hear a construction joke?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, I'm still working on it!"
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.